Many Thanks
It would not be proper to start this report without first expressing my gratitude and thanks to some important people in my life for making it possible for me to take a lengthy time out to indulge in what is only a wishful dream for many. When I first raised the possibility with my wife Helen she immediately said yes, saying something along the lines that I came back a better person after my last retreat. I deeply respect her opinions and observations and for me her comments meant that I was OK to go. To Helen and the family who supported me in the planning and living through six weeks of me in the bush, a big thank you.
To Waipu Presbyterian Parish, thank you for your approval and support. Twelve weeks of study leave is a big chunk of time and I appreciate the opportunity you allowed me to take.
Also to Churches Together in Northland a big thanks for approving my study leave proposal.
I have discovered in contemplating this advice that when all is said and donet he Lord is my Shepherd and I have all I need - as he gifts his life to me. I have discovered that I need times in green pastures beside quite streams to allow the Lord to give to me. When I go to such a place I am often in need, sometimes desperate need, and I have nothing to give, nothing to trade. I have learnt that the quite place is a place of meeting, healing and strength gathering. I learnt from Psalm 23 that the green meadow was only a temporary camping place and not the destination, and soon I would be on the road again with all its testing until by the grace of God I come out onto another green meadow.
On my part I see going on a retreat as a spiritual discipline. It takes time, planning, sometimes hardship, always testing, but being personally taught by the Lord himself. The more I have retreated, the more I have also recognized the presence of the Trinity. Just that makes me want more!
In actual fact the number of retreats I have been on is probably less than 10, most of them a couple of days long, just long enough to sense their benefit.
In 2004 I took the step, because I sensed I was in great need, to go on a solo 20 day and night retreat. It became a defining event in my journey of faith, but left many loose ends. Those loose ends were woven into my heart and mind. To name some of them. Forgiveness, unreasonable fear, disappointment.
I was also weighed down by weariness of soul. Some people mistook this weariness as a crises of faith with predictions that I would leave the ministry or that my time where I am is finished. My faith was fine, I had joy and peace and knew exactly what the Lord required of me to renew my strength.
So, using my study leave time I put in the proposal for the 40 Days plus reading and writing time. It was accepted and so the planning began.
Spiritual Retreat
I have always loved getting away from the general rush of life to find a quite place. I have based my understanding of a retreat within the context of Psalm 23 and its flow from the opening verse The Lord is my Shepherd; I have all that I need through verses 2 and 3 with rest and the renewing of strength and finding direction; onto the dark verses of struggle and conflict finishing off with Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever. (New Living Translation).
During my time in ministry people have come up to me and told me what I need to be a better minister. Some of the advice has been beneficial, but some of it has left me wondering the heart behind the comments. I have needed new clothes, to use the King James Version of the Bible, to be properly baptized, baptized in the Holy Spirit, speak in tongues and be a prophet. Then there are the books and DVDs I should read and see.
When I explained what I was doing to some non Christian friends they looked a little bewildered about 40 days and 40 nights, until I mentioned Moses and Jesus and their 40 days in the wilderness. They understood fairly quickly what I was on about to the extent of saying they hoped that I found what I was looking for.
The same sentiment was expressed by people in the Church. I said to one that I actually hadn't lost anything but hoped to come out with new things I had found.
